Ramblings about today.

Today, all but my baby head back to school. I am conflicted. I am sad on one hand as I will miss them,  but I am also looking forward to getting used to a new, more structured schedule. Me, being the scheduling challenged adult that I am, need external forces to guide my day, apparently.
One thing that I am exceedingly excited about is getting my quiet time back. Try as I may, I am not  naturally an early riser...and trying to find some quiet during the day with 5 active children was virtually impossible over the summer. The school year, is a different story...
So, this morning, I read Psalm 2. While some may see this Psalm as "fire and brimstone" I see God's love...and dare I say it...JEALOUSY for us. Ohhh....I know what it feels like to be jealous. I know what it is to feel threatened that my love may not be returned. I know what it is to fear being hurt. I know what it is to try and prove my love to someone through my actions. God feels this for me? Really...this big God who created the heavens and the earth...seriously?
Yeah...seriously!!
Look at carefully at your life. Here I will give you a minute:

 Can you see it?
 You know, that time you felt conflicted over a decision...one that possibly went against, what you know God wants for you?
 Or maybe you don't know what God necessarily wants for you, but there was that one time, when something terrible should have happened and it didn't...
Or what if it did? As you lay weeping, was God weeping for you? With you?
I say,  indeed He was.
 What about that one decision you made that caused you so much pain...that you wanted to die...yeah...with you then too...what you felt as weakness...was actually God's strength...holding you...holding me.
How do I know?
 For a long time, I didn't.
But then, I took the time. I took the time to seek God out. Yes, creation, nature, the stars, they all point to him, but to really get it, I took the time to...read. Yup...this is where the Bible comes in.
 For some, the Bible is a life line, for some, its a boring history book. Yet, for me, this book is ALIVE!
God meets me here, in this book. Today, in Psalm 2, I was reminded of His jealous love for me. Can you imagine...someone who knows my very thoughts, ya..even THOSE thoughts, loves me enough to feel jealous of THOSE thoughts and things that pull me away.
This is when I proclaim...OH MY GOD!!!!  Yes, the proper use of OMG comes to play here! =)
I guess what my heart is overflowing with at this point is thankfulness. I have a glimpse of where and who I would be if it were not for giving in to this Jealous God...and I am so glad I am not there.
Where there would be bitterness, I now have joy and peace.
Purity has replaced immorality through Jesus' blood.
My thought life is filtered, through the Holy Spirit, which affects my tongue.
My attitude is transformed. I understand that things are not simply done to hurt me...like a mess left in the kitchen, or a forgotten birthday...this gives me grace.
Far from perfect, I am working on all the above, but JOY feels so much better than hopelessness...and i will take that any and everyday!!
Have you found your JOY?
Have you been looking?
Maybe...its been waiting for you...for a long time.


(whispered...) pick up THE BOOK

With much Love and Joy...
Amy